The greater the disparity, the greater the disappointment. It forces you to admit that you did not get what you wished to have, and it is actually easier for you to protest with anger than it is to encounter your sadness about the course of events. The Psychological Set-Up for Disappointment: 1. You are in a situation in which the outcome is uncertain 2.
You hope for a positive outcome 3. You feel you deserve the positive outcome 4. An Empirical sports analogy: In a study of long-suffering baseball fans, older fans were less subject to the disappointment effect.
Source: Rainey, D. Disappointment theory and disappointment among baseball fans. Journal of Sport Behavior, 32 3 , Rainey, D. Disappointment theory and disappointment among football fans. Journal of Sport Behavior, 34 2 , Psychological effects: Disappointment, vs. Aggression An emotional state of anger towards you, another person or sometimes towards the whole world. Guilt A feeling that comes when you have already done or want to do something which is classified as wrong. Present and future look so dark and obscure resulting in suspicions and fears suppressing the pleasure from the usual simple things.
Bad mood Bad mood and lack of mood at all are the slighter forms of apathy and depression. Irritability You are easily annoyed and feel irritated by everything and by everybody. Disappointment It is the state of feeling rather sad because something has not happened or something is not as good as you hoped. Loneliness This is the unhappiness because you do not have any friends or do not have anyone to talk to. Being worried You keep thinking about problems of yours or about problems that might happen; you feel scared with no specific or direct threat.
Diarrhea The state of guts is painful and often causes diarrhea as a result of stress. Sweating Sweating for no apparent reason even if it is cold.
If not, change your expectations. Determine if your disappointment is specific to one person or situation, or to almost all aspects of your life. By doing this, you will be able to focus your energies more effectively. Write down specific examples and look for the cause, not just the symptom, of your stress. Ask others if they think your expectations are out of line with what is reasonable and possible.
They may have a better or at least a different perspective. Listen to what they say and, where appropriate, make necessary changes. Redirect your thinking The good news is that you can control how you think although you have no control over the action or thoughts of others.
If someone consistently cannot give you what you want, then at some point it may be in your best interest to accept the person as is. As a last resort, you may choose to not spend time with that person. Stop dwelling on your disappointments.
Dwelling does not change the person or situation. Sometimes we get so preoccupied with thinking about a situation that does not meet our needs that we create unnecessary stress. Thinking does not change a negative situation, but it will change how you feel. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, redirect and focus on positive solutions. Regain control of your thoughts and plan for the next encounter. A stressmaster is always looking to find ways to regain control of his or her thoughts.
This is the first step to making that leap from feeling out of control to being in control of your life. Communicate more effectively Recognize that you have little control over others. You do, however, have some influence. When an unrealistic expectation doesn't match the circumstance, we don't want to accept what happened. And if we have high expectations around a situation or an outcome, we experience even more intense disappointment.
The third source of disappointment comes from our experiences in childhood. If you experienced a traumatic event around a loss or a disappointment during your childhood, your psyche draws a negative conclusion about the circumstance.
When you mature into adulthood and face a situation similar to the traumatic event in childhood, your mind automatically replays the earlier experience of loss and disappointment. The discouragement you experience can quickly turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy — unless you learn how to deal with disappointment. And if you want to be a leader , or even just navigate professional life with satisfaction and happiness, you will have to learn to embrace and move through this feeling.
Not in the moment. But the actions you take after you experience disappointment can completely transform the eventual outcome and help you make better decisions. Disappointment is less useful as emotion and far more useful as a data point. Simply feeling disappointment tells you three important things:. But the very fact that your expectations missed the reality of the outcomes means that you were brave enough to show up for something.
You can grow through disappointments, as long as you commit to get back up and try again. No matter what you thought you deserved, what happened is what you truly deserved. So, from this disappointment, you can start to align your expectations with reality.
You can also tailor your decisions so that you avoid this particular kind of disappointment again. Disappointment that stems from childhood trauma can be debilitating. But it can also be the starting point to getting stronger and more resilient due to overcoming adversity. Researchers say the benefits of adversity include greater mental fortitude, increased emotional intelligence, clearer thinking, and a stronger stance against negative thinking.
Whether it's disappointment or anger, you need to feel it and let it out. A healthy way to do this is to confide in your friends, family, or even a therapist. You could channel this kind of tough emotion into a creative outlet, such as writing in a journal or do something physical like taking a long run. Research has shown that emotional suppression can hinder our personal growth.
Without the ability to feel emotions and actively express them, you have trouble adapting to new and unfamiliar situations. Communication with friends and family about your disappointing situation can help bring some much-needed clarity. When you get an outside perspective other than your own, you can begin to see things for what they really are, rather than how you feel about them.
The problem with emotions like disappointment is that it can completely derail our visions of ourselves.
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